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Writer's pictureFranky Ramone

This Elf On A Shelf Murders People


Yes, I'm going to take your temperature with this candy cane. Now bend over.

Is there anybody else who hates the whole "Elf On A Shelf" phenomenon? It's really kind of creepy when you get right down to it. The goal is actually to move the elf around so that your kids think it was up doing stuff during the night. How is that not weird?


What if your elf on the shelf actually did come to life? Sure they seem to be innocuous, but maybe they've been watching you all this time, just waiting for the right moment too....


....Or even better, what if your elf on a shelf was your little evil helper and it could take care of some nasty business for you.


I really love this two minute movie from Crypt T.V. Yes, it's only two minutes and still has a good gallon or so of blood in it.


If you kid ever asks for an elf on a shelf, show them this and they'll never ask again.



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